third Chapter
The next day was a very tough day. Actually, she felt relatively well, but lethargy, dizziness and the heat unbearable for them they tore into a kind of lethargy, which struck her on the mind. Still, she was unable to free itself from it.
Because of this excruciating lethargy that day she went to the university. She would just torture anyway in the seminar, the decency for today. So they decided to also right to visit no more of this seminar.
November remained so at home and led to the unrest that raged despite everything in it. Actually, she was well. But still she felt the state in which she was just as painful. She had quite the urge to do something. But desire is very different than driving or even motivation. This fact led to so that, once an act, an activity started, it already gave up after a few minutes back, as you said in German passed the air. But the urge remained. And grew to greater agitation.
time was on that day to something they did not touch at all. She had no feeling anymore. So passed away the hours, which were filled with lethargy and horrible nothing. The fact that these hours had passed, November noticed only when they had already passed and the clock said that it was now evening. After Novembers feel maybe two hours had passed. But the reality was different. In truth, already half a day had moved into the country. Time had lost all meaning. Even though it scared her, how fast they went by.
Time had not only lost in importance, she has also become a very elastic thing. She seemed to run faster than ever before, yet was November not in a position to fill them with meaningful activity. She hated herself for having had so little power over himself.
She felt it also as a strange and very annoying that they could do, especially in such tough days like today, what she was doing very slowly. She gave herself very hard, did their best. But not least because of the lack of sense of time, they managed just not faster. It took hours to get dressed in the morning, again a few hours to decide whether and when they drove into town and fill a half day to two pages in her diary. She was like the world encapsulated, completely separated from the raging life. She lived in a completely different life but parallel dimension. Here the time passed slowly. Only she could not bring their dimension with the "life" dimension referred to in line.
The only thing they pulled on that day a little out of the lethargy, the little bike tour was with her sister. They drove a few hours on cooler evenings. Both had fun, laughed joked, enjoyed the scenery. It was good to be back again a few hours without worry. But even these few hours could not connect to the November dimension "life."
Back home was at least November's blood pressure at a healthy level.
'I guess I should really drive more sports ...' she thought for themselves.
She ate and drank some more before she retired to her room.
heard today they like the music of Schiller. She was pretty quiet and did not need many words. The loud, cheerful music they heard normally, they could not stand today. It went well, but when she sat in her room at night, she sank back into endless speculations. With a sigh, she remembered that she had forgotten today, to call the psychiatrist for an appointment. So they had to do the next day. But it would anyway be in town early enough, before the class began, so she could stop by in person there.
November, actually neither drive nor motivation to go into teaching. The work would let fly the most. But it could definitely go on, so she forced herself to go to both. That is, they would try the next morning, forcing out of bed.
So it could not go on.
She was not sure if they destroyed the life, or whether the lives they destroyed.
If it so thought about it, they tended rather to the latter, but both go together but somehow.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Office Wine Kate's Playground
second Chapter
The first thing the next morning they took to himself, was a headache tablet. This time she had been awakened in her own bed by mobile phone and stereo. Her room was relatively cool, but it was still relatively early in the day auchh.
something sullen and dull Pain in the head she peeled veschlafen out of bed after half an hour had acted as they would sleep. She washed down the said tablet with a glass of water before she placed herself under a soothing shower.
Lost in thought, she completed automates all you in the morning just as done. It was only when she got off the bus later, she noticed that it worked just automated. A woman with a walker asked November, help her get off with a friendly smile and November, said:
"Yes, of course,"
The voice that spoke from her lips seemed not to be their own half and they woke up, awakened by her own voice. She was well again drifted somewhat. Not to themselves they did not, however. For weeks now they have suffered from vertigo and a feeling like cotton wool in the head. Today was probably through the summer heat, particularly nasty and she felt as if she were walking on soft clouds. And now and then but the world was spinning too much. November
put their music to the ears and went into the city. The first thing she did what she had done the day before: She bought a book with blank pages. She then went on his way to a psychiatrist.
November, for years, Since her youth (which the teenage years is meant, for she was as old age of 24 still do not) to fight with itself. In her rage, sometimes more, sometimes less, a seemingly endless sadness and too often Sehsucht after death. She had been a few years ago to undergo a therapy of which had also been quite helpful, but in the last weeks, months and even years, actually was the despair again grown into a now unbearable degree.
For months she raged in her worse than ever. She was brimming with fear, dark Gedankenwust and self-hatred, so full to the brim, that it threatened to burst at many day. To make this dark despair some air and give yourself at least for a short time en little bit easier, they even attacked some evenings to the blade to see their own blood flow. In recent weeks, more often than in the past half year.
Today she felt relatively well. The world was not quite so dark and the black veil in her head, something had lifted. But still she was determined to turn to a psychiatrist. They just had a good phase, probably favored by the talks with a life coach, they had taken in recent weeks in a kind of crisis intervention from a deep crisis. November but knew from experience that the next crisis would come. And this would certainly be at least as severe as the past.
While she was on her way to the psychiatrist, was loud in the back of her head, a voice they knew from their past good phases only too well. The voice that tried to convince her that she was not sick. That they do not need help. That their lives fully under control. Yet this voice was trying to deny and hide all the problems. To vedrängen. And thus postpone the problems.
But November was determined this time to listen to their reason. It could go on like this not easy. She was at that moment was good that day, not deny it. But she could not deny that she was afraid of the next crisis. The next crisis would be worse, they might tear down than all the past and already she was very afraid to plunge into the abyss without foundation and no longer can get up to. It had to happen. The first steps in their search for help, they had already done. She could not just give up now. An appointment with a psychiatrist was a good next step. From previous attempts to get a quick appointment, knew November that they probably would get one in September. This was in order. Now it was fine. Until then, there were still two months. And by then it was definitely back in a severely depressed, suicidal phase and would now be more credible than their good phase.
put it arrives at the practice, they found that it was a waste running through the summer heat. The talk time was already over. So they decided the next day to arrange an appointment.
After trying with cotton-head in a café with espresso had to drive their blood pressure at healthier levels, she went to the University, there to sprinkle in the only seminar that she had now to leave. concentration could drift for months was a foreign concept for her brain, but in this seminar was God calls you just listen, so they go unnoticed in all the time in other worlds.
And although at the university contributed absolutely nothing, she felt incredibly tired and exhausted when they finally got home at night. Alone in the walk around the city, take city bus to college, just being physically present needed every day, their energy reserves completely. They simply had no strength left. And she wondered again, where had she hergenommen earlier this power.
you found no answer to it.
The first thing the next morning they took to himself, was a headache tablet. This time she had been awakened in her own bed by mobile phone and stereo. Her room was relatively cool, but it was still relatively early in the day auchh.
something sullen and dull Pain in the head she peeled veschlafen out of bed after half an hour had acted as they would sleep. She washed down the said tablet with a glass of water before she placed herself under a soothing shower.
Lost in thought, she completed automates all you in the morning just as done. It was only when she got off the bus later, she noticed that it worked just automated. A woman with a walker asked November, help her get off with a friendly smile and November, said:
"Yes, of course,"
The voice that spoke from her lips seemed not to be their own half and they woke up, awakened by her own voice. She was well again drifted somewhat. Not to themselves they did not, however. For weeks now they have suffered from vertigo and a feeling like cotton wool in the head. Today was probably through the summer heat, particularly nasty and she felt as if she were walking on soft clouds. And now and then but the world was spinning too much. November
put their music to the ears and went into the city. The first thing she did what she had done the day before: She bought a book with blank pages. She then went on his way to a psychiatrist.
November, for years, Since her youth (which the teenage years is meant, for she was as old age of 24 still do not) to fight with itself. In her rage, sometimes more, sometimes less, a seemingly endless sadness and too often Sehsucht after death. She had been a few years ago to undergo a therapy of which had also been quite helpful, but in the last weeks, months and even years, actually was the despair again grown into a now unbearable degree.
For months she raged in her worse than ever. She was brimming with fear, dark Gedankenwust and self-hatred, so full to the brim, that it threatened to burst at many day. To make this dark despair some air and give yourself at least for a short time en little bit easier, they even attacked some evenings to the blade to see their own blood flow. In recent weeks, more often than in the past half year.
Today she felt relatively well. The world was not quite so dark and the black veil in her head, something had lifted. But still she was determined to turn to a psychiatrist. They just had a good phase, probably favored by the talks with a life coach, they had taken in recent weeks in a kind of crisis intervention from a deep crisis. November but knew from experience that the next crisis would come. And this would certainly be at least as severe as the past.
While she was on her way to the psychiatrist, was loud in the back of her head, a voice they knew from their past good phases only too well. The voice that tried to convince her that she was not sick. That they do not need help. That their lives fully under control. Yet this voice was trying to deny and hide all the problems. To vedrängen. And thus postpone the problems.
But November was determined this time to listen to their reason. It could go on like this not easy. She was at that moment was good that day, not deny it. But she could not deny that she was afraid of the next crisis. The next crisis would be worse, they might tear down than all the past and already she was very afraid to plunge into the abyss without foundation and no longer can get up to. It had to happen. The first steps in their search for help, they had already done. She could not just give up now. An appointment with a psychiatrist was a good next step. From previous attempts to get a quick appointment, knew November that they probably would get one in September. This was in order. Now it was fine. Until then, there were still two months. And by then it was definitely back in a severely depressed, suicidal phase and would now be more credible than their good phase.
put it arrives at the practice, they found that it was a waste running through the summer heat. The talk time was already over. So they decided the next day to arrange an appointment.
After trying with cotton-head in a café with espresso had to drive their blood pressure at healthier levels, she went to the University, there to sprinkle in the only seminar that she had now to leave. concentration could drift for months was a foreign concept for her brain, but in this seminar was God calls you just listen, so they go unnoticed in all the time in other worlds.
And although at the university contributed absolutely nothing, she felt incredibly tired and exhausted when they finally got home at night. Alone in the walk around the city, take city bus to college, just being physically present needed every day, their energy reserves completely. They simply had no strength left. And she wondered again, where had she hergenommen earlier this power.
you found no answer to it.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Funny Wedding Invitation Card For Biologist
first Chapter
She opened her eyes and looked straight through the window at the hazy summer morning. By the tilted window, she could clearly hear the sounds of the small town where she currently was. She could see the river, the other shore with the quaint little restaurants, hills and low mountains on the edge of the city and the hectic racing cars on the main roads. And that, without moving an inch. Awakened been but it was not from the noise. It was the sultry heat of a Sunday morning in late June, which is difficult to put a more or less cool night of their bodies and brought them so soft and warm from sleep. She hated the humidity of that Summer.
the bed where she lay sleeping and had was not her own. But it was not that of a lover or boyfriend, as one would expect after such a sentence. Both of them had not. It was the bed of her best friend, with whom she spent the weekend. She had been in recent weeks, often with this friend and her go. She needed a distance. Distance from home, from their parents. The relationship with their parents, especially for the mother, had always been difficult, but now that she was almost 24 years old, the complexity of this relationship had reached a climax. Especially because during their studies for financial reasons yet lived in the home. Even if they too often doubt, the "live" than to call.
any event, it was that we now baptise 'the "November", in the bed of her best friend. Lag she rolled around a bit and felt she began to sweat alone due to this movement. That's why they did not like the summer. It was muggy, hot, hard, sticky and sleepless. In a word: Disgusting. They preferred the cold of winter or in the company breezes of spring and fall. could with the heat of summer and did not want to make friends so right. Sleepy they felt slowly in her head put ideas into motion. They thought about various things, but they forgot once again. Then you had an idea where it held longer, with whom she still lingering in bed, playing around a bit. She wanted to open a new blog. Although she had already two blogs, one on its home page and another in English, but she wanted another one. One that was a little different. She had the idea that this new journal in the form of a book, or in the form of a novel to write short stories. November did not know exactly how she came up with this idea, which she liked very well, but she suspected it was because of the book that she had read the night before. The book in question was a review of a severely depressed woman and November could find themselves in so many things that have been raised in the book and described as being almost even wanted to write one. That it was somehow too hard, so she decided to lead to novel in diary form. They kept playing with this idea, painted off as well make the items and the layout should quietly and smiled inwardly to himself, during the morning progressed.
She spun the idea on and on and finally asked what would make sense, it good to keep a diary of this form. This question she answered immediately
itself in this way they could memories and events of their lives that they too often felt too screwed up to hold on and win a certain distance from them. And it may therefore be regarded from a different angle. Therefore they also decided not to I-form but to use the third person. So they could maybe win a little distance from himself.
She was finally at the idea so much that they are still lying in bed, undertook to buy at the first opportunity one of these beautiful books with blank pages in order to include the day ü about record thoughts and memories. She rejoiced at the thought like a child out to buy the book.
Finally, she stood still on the bed and left the room. She found her friend sitting in front of the TV before, and both welcomed to smile with a "good morning". The rest of the day was peaceful and at least as lazy as the day before. The two friends were related to the television, playing and cuddling with a young cat, who also lived in the house, and hung just lazy and sultry heat of the grappling. Finally, it was again tonight and November packed her things to go home.
Even as she overcame her initial into her car a feeling of deep melancholy that every time they came over, when they visit the direction of companies or friends left for home. Over time, they had this more and more as a symptom of depression, in which she suffered for years dismissed, but she could explain that feeling still do not. She had had a great time and there simply was no reason for this deep sadness that was now sitting in her chest and pulled a dark veil over the sun. Was it perhaps displeasure about the fact that they had to go home? Or was it a kind of envy for the lives of others, they would have never? November did not know. You just knew that this was vague, sad feeling there and that it aroused unpleasant thoughts in it.
With empty eyes drove her home.
She opened her eyes and looked straight through the window at the hazy summer morning. By the tilted window, she could clearly hear the sounds of the small town where she currently was. She could see the river, the other shore with the quaint little restaurants, hills and low mountains on the edge of the city and the hectic racing cars on the main roads. And that, without moving an inch. Awakened been but it was not from the noise. It was the sultry heat of a Sunday morning in late June, which is difficult to put a more or less cool night of their bodies and brought them so soft and warm from sleep. She hated the humidity of that Summer.
the bed where she lay sleeping and had was not her own. But it was not that of a lover or boyfriend, as one would expect after such a sentence. Both of them had not. It was the bed of her best friend, with whom she spent the weekend. She had been in recent weeks, often with this friend and her go. She needed a distance. Distance from home, from their parents. The relationship with their parents, especially for the mother, had always been difficult, but now that she was almost 24 years old, the complexity of this relationship had reached a climax. Especially because during their studies for financial reasons yet lived in the home. Even if they too often doubt, the "live" than to call.
any event, it was that we now baptise 'the "November", in the bed of her best friend. Lag she rolled around a bit and felt she began to sweat alone due to this movement. That's why they did not like the summer. It was muggy, hot, hard, sticky and sleepless. In a word: Disgusting. They preferred the cold of winter or in the company breezes of spring and fall. could with the heat of summer and did not want to make friends so right. Sleepy they felt slowly in her head put ideas into motion. They thought about various things, but they forgot once again. Then you had an idea where it held longer, with whom she still lingering in bed, playing around a bit. She wanted to open a new blog. Although she had already two blogs, one on its home page and another in English, but she wanted another one. One that was a little different. She had the idea that this new journal in the form of a book, or in the form of a novel to write short stories. November did not know exactly how she came up with this idea, which she liked very well, but she suspected it was because of the book that she had read the night before. The book in question was a review of a severely depressed woman and November could find themselves in so many things that have been raised in the book and described as being almost even wanted to write one. That it was somehow too hard, so she decided to lead to novel in diary form. They kept playing with this idea, painted off as well make the items and the layout should quietly and smiled inwardly to himself, during the morning progressed.
She spun the idea on and on and finally asked what would make sense, it good to keep a diary of this form. This question she answered immediately
itself in this way they could memories and events of their lives that they too often felt too screwed up to hold on and win a certain distance from them. And it may therefore be regarded from a different angle. Therefore they also decided not to I-form but to use the third person. So they could maybe win a little distance from himself.
She was finally at the idea so much that they are still lying in bed, undertook to buy at the first opportunity one of these beautiful books with blank pages in order to include the day ü about record thoughts and memories. She rejoiced at the thought like a child out to buy the book.
Finally, she stood still on the bed and left the room. She found her friend sitting in front of the TV before, and both welcomed to smile with a "good morning". The rest of the day was peaceful and at least as lazy as the day before. The two friends were related to the television, playing and cuddling with a young cat, who also lived in the house, and hung just lazy and sultry heat of the grappling. Finally, it was again tonight and November packed her things to go home.
Even as she overcame her initial into her car a feeling of deep melancholy that every time they came over, when they visit the direction of companies or friends left for home. Over time, they had this more and more as a symptom of depression, in which she suffered for years dismissed, but she could explain that feeling still do not. She had had a great time and there simply was no reason for this deep sadness that was now sitting in her chest and pulled a dark veil over the sun. Was it perhaps displeasure about the fact that they had to go home? Or was it a kind of envy for the lives of others, they would have never? November did not know. You just knew that this was vague, sad feeling there and that it aroused unpleasant thoughts in it.
With empty eyes drove her home.
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